Books
I’ve written a bunch of books. Like, ten or eleven that are available. Here are some links to read them, order them, or add to your spank bank.

Latest Book
Mudpedal Clark Gets a Guitar
Mudpedal Clark didn’t mean to become a rock star. All he wanted was a guitar for his birthday.
He’s ten years old. He likes skateboarding, comic books, and putting off his math homework. But everything changes the day he walks into a music store and walks out with a black Ibanez guitar, a tiny practice amp, and a head full of dreams.
At first, it’s just about learning to play. Barre chords. Buzzing frets. A few sore fingers. But the more he practices, the more he falls in love with it. His fingers toughen. His strumming gets stronger. Before long, he’s jamming with his cousin Corky – a 14-year-old drummer who wears a bandana even when he’s not sweating – and his dad, who decides to take up bass just to hang out with his kid.
Together, they form a ragtag band that somehow ends up on TV, playing shows at roadhouses, and opening for an actual blues legend on tour.
But while the world sees a rising star, Mudpedal isn’t so sure. Fame is louder than he expected. Touring is exhausting. Fans are weird. And being recognized in every town they stop in? That’s not always as fun as it sounds.
What happens when you’re living your dream — and it starts to feel like someone else’s?
Best selling books

Patrimonious
What do you get when you cross early-onset memory loss with generational trauma, a Ford F-350, and a stolen dog?
Probably a felony.
Definitely Patrimonious.
Filled with anti-capitalist shade, savage reflections on masculinity, and enough dark humor to get canceled in three states, Patrimonious is what happens when you shove Hunter S. Thompson, Charles Bukowski, and a grumpy Zen gardener into a room with a deadline and a bottle of bourbon—and only one of them is legally allowed to drive.

Rockstar Nobody
Join rock band The Walls Instead as they embark on their debut tour through the American Southwest. Like most bands, they’ll meet new fans, play exciting shows, kill bad people, party all night, and get lost on the interstate highway system.
Wait…what?

Freshman Nobody
Freshman year of high school is never easy. Even harder when you don’t fit in. In this book, we experience the internal and external struggles of one teen as they learn about the world – and people – around them. An exploration of the burdens that can be carried over from youth into adulthood.
Mature Content, Ages 14+

The Carlin Trend
In this sequel to Rockstar Nobody, The Walls Instead tour the Pacific Northwest, continuing their vigilante mission while playing gigs and escaping storms.
Perpetrators include a Fresno County Sheriff’s Deputy, a pediatric nurse, and another serial killer.

Nobody Gets Out Alive
In the Rockstar Nobody universe, this story falls between Freshman Nobody and Rockstar Nobody. We experience the turmoil that turned our protagonist into a vigilante while simultaneously finding him in his first band.
Please note: this is here for posterity (and because I like the cover). The new edition of Freshman Nobody includes this book! True collectors can still get this first edition for a limited time.

You Don't Look Artistic
There’s art, there’s games, it’s a coloring book, it’s a book of bedtime stories. What the f*ck is it? Even we don’t know.
Featuring some of the semi-best art by Christen Wilkerson, Senia Rodriguez and Nate Butler. We’ve curated a completely irreverent selection of their work for the pleasure of your right brain. Get out your 64-pack of crayons, because you get to color them in!

University Musings
aka Some Shit I Wrote My First Year of College. Essays and creative writing projects from when I went to school in my forties. Unpublished, but available here. Topics include mental health care, suicidal ideation, philosophy, and animal rights.

The Exceptional Musician
Let’s say you’re sixteen and dream of being the next superstar. I’ll tell you what you need to know to understand music, learn your instrument, write songs and start a band. Or maybe you’re forty and want to leave your wife, quit your job and become the next Meat Loaf. It’s basically the same process. But your music will have to be way, way better. To make up for your looks.But what if you already know how to play and want to start a band, but your friends suck? I’ll explain, in glorious detail, how to find some more adequate friends – ones who hopefully aren’t hooked on blow. Not only that, I’ll show you how to whip those bunch of non-addicted chumps into a musical machine tighter than the tail you’ll be getting at your gigs.

It's Not Your Emergency
I used to train 911 dispatchers. I started writing a manual, but realized there was nothing comparable available, so I wrote a vocational guide. Also includes several funny and tragic stories and a special section on Zen and the Art of Dispatch